


Troubled Thoughts

by ComicalMoose



Category: Sean McLoughlin - Fandom, jacksepticeye
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Anger, Angst, Character in a coma, Coma, Guilt, Hatred, Heavy Angst, Implied Self-Doubt, Implied Self-Harm, Implied Self-Hatred, Implied suicide ?, Memories, Mentioned Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Night Terrors, Nightmares, Pure fuckin angst, a lot of this shit is implied but just in case yknow, i mean Anti is a demon sooo, i wanted some angst and whoops this happened, idk think what ya want of it, mentioned alcoholism, mentioned depression, mentioned drinking, mentioned emotional trauma, mentioned self-confidence issues, mentioned self-harm, post-basically everything that’s been happenin in the JSE community recently, sort of ?, this is not a happy fic okay, troublesome thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 17:59:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17187707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ComicalMoose/pseuds/ComicalMoose
Summary: His fault for their pain.His fault for their suffering.His fault for their hatred.His fault for their ignorance.His fault.All his fault.————TW: There are a lot of trigger warnings, so please read the tags. If I missed anything, feel free to let me know.





	Troubled Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> Wanted some angst so uh, here, take this thing I spat out in like thirty minutes

Anti tossed and turned and twisted all over, then finally sat upright in his bed, running a hand through his unkempt hair at four in the morning, as he sighed for what was likely the seventh time in just the last hour. Though his eyelids were heavy and had deep, dark bags underneath them, he couldn’t find it within himself to sleep.

 

His thoughts kept him awake, drilling into his head all his mistakes and failures and the consequences they brought forth.

 

It was his fault Jack was in a coma, stuck in an endless sleep for over a year now.

 

It was his fault Henrik had gone missing, only to turn up months later exhausted and unsteady.

 

It was his fault Chase never saw his kids or his wife anymore, spiraling his path downhill to drink his sorrows away every night.

 

It was his fault Marvin had turned to dark magic, just wanting to finally mean something to those around him.

 

It was his fault Jackie beat and battered himself over unsaved lives, suffering their injuries for them because he “wasn’t good enough.”

 

It was his fault Jameson stayed awake at night, fearing that a vulnerability in the darkness will lead him to corruption once more.

 

Anti cried out in anger and threw his pillow at the far wall. He didn’t want to be like this, he didn’t want to hurt them with every simple movement or misspoken word.

 

Maybe if he just left everything would be normal again.

 

If he just left they wouldn’t have his bad luck hanging over their heads anymore.

 

If he just left they wouldn’t have to fear his next move, his next word.

 

If he just left they wouldn’t have to worry about his power, his demons.

 

If he just left everything would be fine.

 

Everything would be normal.

 

That’s what brought Anti to his feet in rushed movements, hurried steps making their way to the window without hesitance. He paused with one foot dangling on the edge of the open window, turning back to face the room he grew fond of isolating himself in for so many years, and waved his hand, fixing the room neat and tidy as if no one had ever stepped in.

 

He would leave no trace of his existence.

 

Then, with that thought in mind, Anti frowned deeply, and he jumped.

 

The household remained silent, its occupants no longer bearing the supposed burden of the demon once lurking within.

 

And Anti’s thoughts troubled him no more.

 

————

**Author's Note:**

> Uh hi don’t kill me- I just wanted some Anti angst sksks  
> ...not sure why but I did lmao
> 
>  
> 
> (I also totally do not have this headcanon that if the egos stray too far from Jack, they literally flicker out of existence no totally not why would you think that ahah- )


End file.
